turtlecute33

-- about me --

it me

こんにちは! (konnichiwa)

I'm Turtlecute33 — a cute turtle from Italy that doesn't know how to code. GitHub keeps letting me in anyway, security flaw tbh.

I write about Bitcoin, Privacy & Security in Italian. Podcast host at Priorato del Bitcoin. Yes, I named my podcast like a secret medieval order. No, I will not elaborate.

"Non sono comunista, non ci sono copyright." — me, a literal turtle

-- skills --

Bitcoin

95%

Privacy

90%

Coding

Being a Turtle

∞

-- projects --

◆ turtlecute.org

Italian guides on Bitcoin, privacy & security. Like Wikipedia but written by a turtle and actually useful.

→ visit

◆ Privacy Activist Kit

Digital self-defense guide. For when "just use incognito mode" isn't cutting it anymore.

→ read

◆ Tor Node Script

One script, one Tor relay. Contributing to internet freedom from your couch since 2024.

→ github

◆ Ad Block Tester

Find out if your adblocker is actually doing its job or just vibing in your extensions bar.

→ try it

-- 亀の知恵 turtle memes --

"A turtle's shell is just a self-hosted VPN provided by nature." — ancient proverb (source: trust me bro)

☆ turtle wisdom ☆

slow and steady wins the race against mass surveillance
my threat model includes everyone except turtles
I don't have mass, I have shell
encrypt first, ask questions never
404: social life not found

current mood:

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕）ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

when the VPN connects
on the first try

(´;ω;｀)

when someone says
"I have nothing to hide"

お前はもう死んでいる... your data is already leaked. you just don't know it yet. ʀ▀‿▀)

things I trust more than centralized services:

a turtle crossing a highway · expired milk · "free wifi" at the airport · a Nigerian prince

-- contact --

want to talk about bitcoin, privacy, or turtles? PGP preferred.
if you're a government agent, no I don't. (╯°□°）╯︵┻━┻

email	turtlecute@proton.me
telegram	@turtlecute33
github	Turtlecute33
x / twitter	@turtlecute33
instagram	@turtlecute33

₿ feed the turtle
sats only. no shitcoins. no PayPal. no "exposure".
the turtle has standards and a very expensive lettuce habit.
→ donate via BTCPay on turtlecute.org

-- links --

you are visitor number

000000

since the dawn of turtle time